I’ve spent the last two days drying out in the infirmary at the B.O.O. I confided in Faye about how I’ve been feeling and some of the things I’ve had to do. I won’t say she was entirely happy with me however she understood. There is talk about opening up the northern part of the DZ and Faye wants me to lead a team to explore it. I did what I could to get out of it but she insisted it just might be the structure that I need right now. I will be meeting up with my new squad in a few days at the lower west DZ check point. I told Faye I needed to run these guys through the ringer if I was going to trust them in unexplored territory. She tried to joke and said, “just don’t kill any of them”. I told her I’d do my best but couldn’t make any promises. Maybe it was the look on my face but she didn’t find my reply as funny as I did.
It’s been a few days since I had any communications with anyone in the Division. Mostly because I’ve been on a bender. I blew the back door of a liquor store and was able for scrounge up some cheap swill. It’s piss water but it got the job done. Now I sit here nursing the hangover shit booze inevitably gives you, hating myself for doing this. I’m lost right now. Not lost in the city but in my mind. Dr Kandel, the virologist tasked with finding a cure for this plague thinks she may be making headway but all I can think is, what about what we’ve done to this city, to all these people. ISAC has been talking to me non stop the last few hours. I guess the boss lady has been looking for me. Maybe I should just go in and talk to her. She could help me deal with all this. She could also have me locked up. She could try
I’ve been awake for almost 48hrs. The trail for Keener has gone cold. I was able to track him down to a building on the corner of 10th Ave. & W 23rd St. In what looked like an abandon apartment turn make shift lab above some psychic shop I found what seemed to be a message from Keener directed at me. Did he know I was looking for him? Did he know the inner turmoil I’ve been going through? Did he have the same mental break and that’s why he turned on The Division? No, he’s a psychotic killer and I’m a soldier, I help people. He’s a murderer for money. We are not the same, we’re not.
He was right though, there is more we could have and should have done. Why did the Division bind our hands? Why didn’t they let the first wave save the DZ? The second wave should have been called up earlier, gone in to help them. All those people we let die. All the ones we’ve killed ourselves. Am I a solider? Who did I really help? I came here to make things right. To bring order to chaos. All I brought was mayhem and death. I should have never answered this fucking watch. Fuck this watch, fuck Keener, fuck the Division. Fuck me I’m tired.
I have spent the last 24plus hours in the DZ looking for information on the whereabouts of Arron Keener. The people I have questioned didn’t seem to be of any help. Granted most of them were pieces of shit. Few Rikers and Cleaners mostly. No matter what I did to these guys none of them wanted to talk. Scream, cry and beg me to stop, sure but no one wanted to offer any useful information. Maybe they actually didn’t know anything. Honestly, I don’t care. There are reports that Keener was working with the head of the LMB, Col. Bliss so I’ll head north tomorrow and see if any of the Little Mommas Boys want to talk to me. Rumor has it that the LMB grunts have put a price on my head after what I did to Michael Vick. Let them try and collect that bounty. Let them come. I’ll get my pound of flesh before that check can be cashed.
Today I found an echo that has shaken me to my very core. Is this Keener guy really the monster they say he is? If what he is saying is true, then what am I even doing here? Why am I even helping them take back this city? They obviously don’t care about it or the people that live here. How long until they hit fuck it. Before they just wall off and abandon all of NY like they did with the DZ? I think I need to go to the source on this. I need to talk directly with the man himself. How does one find Arron Keener. Does he just find you??
Everything has been locked down the last few days, including me. There is a new threat to this city and more specificity to the Division. The worst storm in NY history rolled through here a few days ago, and with came what some are referring to as Hunters. Reports are coming in that these highly skilled, highly trained and highly equipped killers have been murdering agent all throughout the DZ. It’s not bad enough that there has been a rash of agent turning on each other now we have these demons to deal with. Not much is known about them. Some feel that they may be the personal kill squad of Aaron Keener. He is the agent who we now know started the revolt against the Division from within. Those agents that have been able to kill a hunter say they are vicious, murderous individuals who seem to take great pleasure in killing agents. They have even been seen wearing a string of dead agents watches as trophies of their kills. I have yet to encounter one of these butchers. Apparently breaking the jaw of a JTF soldier for mouthing off to you gets you a time out. Benitez babies those useless fucks way too much. It did keep me out of the storm so there is that.
I keep telling myself, it was her or me, her or me. Was it though? I should report this to Faye. I should get the hell out of the DZ. I should kill everyone. I should eat something. I really need a shower.